Influence Doesn't Wait for Permission

I’m in a planning meeting at my first agency job as junior developer Dan, watching my colleague Sarah work her usual magic: redirecting the entire conversation with a single question.

“Before we kick off the build, have we validated the wireframes with the users who asked for it?”

The room goes quiet. Our Creative Director looks irritated, then thoughtful. The meeting pivots. I’m sitting there thinking: Why didn’t I say that?

I’d had the same question, but I was waiting for someone senior to raise it. That’s when the lightbulb turned on—she had the same information as me and exactly zero more authority. She just spoke first.

Most folks want to move into senior leadership to get more influence. They’re waiting on the authority of the title to grant them permission.

Whilst Sarah was asking questions in meetings and across teams, I was playing by the book.

This is rarely good advice. Progression frameworks are clunky 8-bit representations of what we think smart people look like. But nothing compares to someone taking ownership in real time.

When I finally tried it myself, I naturally botched it spectacularly. I asked our CTO “what’s our competitive moat?” in an all-hands. He looked at me like I’d just asked him to explain gravity, then gave a one-sentence answer and moved on.

But I kept going. I got better at how I asked. I learned that curiosity without context sounds like posturing, but that genuine questions show you’ve already dedicated time to thinking on the issue. Those questions get real answers. Many years later, I’d learn to spot great engineers by the quality of their questions.

So I started tracking what Sarah actually did:

None of this required authority.

I saw that I could start doing this sooner. There was nothing stopping me having lateral conversations with others. From getting more perspective on other teams. From speaking with leaders and asking them how they saw the business.

Most organisations are full of unasked questions and unexplored assumptions. The people who gain influence are usually the ones willing to wander into that space. It’s not a one-off trip, but something that is done carefully, respectfully and persistently.

All of this is to say that these skills can be built and bedded in before the title arrives. They might be the only way the title arrives.

The authority of a title can amplify influence, but it can’t substitute for it.

Pick one meeting this week where you’re not the decision-maker. Ask a question that shows you’ve actually thought about the problem, not just shown up.

It might land badly. Someone might wonder why you’re even asking.

But the permission you’re waiting is yours alone to grant. This is both terrifying and liberating.

Influence isn’t bestowed. It’s grasped, quietly and repeatedly, by people who decided to stop waiting for permission.